What is purpose anxiety, and how can YOU avoid it and find YOUR purpose in life?

Self-comparisons to your favourite social media influencers are negatively impacting your life. I have written about it before. And, with God as my witness, I will write about it again.

Now, when I say this, I am sure your mind is conjuring up images of fitness influencers flaunting bodies you will likely never have. Or travel influencers giving you hot flashes of jealousy over their sun and mojito soaked “lifestyles”. And yes, you would be right about the impact of those unattainable (mainly because they aren’t authentic) images explicitly crafted to make you feel inadequate.

But, what if I told you that even those influencers trying to inspire you can contribute to the worsening mental health in today’s society. Now, before I go on with this article, I want to make something clear. I am not taking a shot at these kinds of influencers as I do at the fitness/model/travel crowd. These influencers, I believe, are genuinely trying to help and inspire you to live your best life. That is a goal I can get behind and have deep respect for (shocking opinion from a self-development writer, I know). Mental health is tricky, and unintended consequences happen. This article is not a criticism of them. It is intended to empower YOU to recognize this phenomenon and deal with it effectively. Ultimately we are all responsible for our own life and our own mental health.

So, let’s paint the scene. You open up your carefully curated Instagram feed for a daily dose of motivation. You scroll down and see entrepreneurs, self-development professionals, even *shudder* fitness influencers all repeating the same word. Purpose. Apparently, you need to find your purpose to live a fulfilling life.

This is good advice. Beyond the obviously self-evident benefits of having a purpose in life, there are many surprising benefits backed by good old science, such as a lower risk of Alzheimer’s and stroke.

But reading this advice, you don’t sit there and think, “what wonderful advice, I must at once find my purpose”. No, you most likely sit there and start experiencing mild to severe anxiety symptoms associated with your distinct lack of purpose. I say probably because an overwhelming 91% of people surveyed reported this phenomenon.

This phenomenon is called Purpose Anxiety, and I know the feeling all too well. In fact, it was a period of prolonged purpose anxiety that led me to finally take the plunge and start writing for money.

By now, you are probably asking, “Hell Henry, I have felt this too. How am I supposed to avoid this cruel fate?”

Don’t worry, my friend, I’ve got your back. There are two stages at which you may experience purpose anxiety;

1. When struggling to find your purpose in life and;
2. When attempting to live your purpose.

The first stage is the easiest to solve and is the stage we’ll deal with in this article (don’t worry, I’m not abandoning you at stage 2, we’ll deal with that one in a separate article). I’m sure you’ve figured out the solution for number one already, but just in case, I’ll make it nice and clear.

If you are experiencing purpose anxiety when struggling to find your purpose, this can be easiest solved by finding your purpose.

Not only are you going to fix your purpose anxiety, but you’ll also start reaping all those sweet benefits of living a purposeful life.

So there you have it, go find your purpose. All fixed. Cue the “thank you, Henry, please link me to your Patreon so I can show my unending gratitude.”

If only it was that simple, eh? It’s not, though, else we wouldn’t have that 91% rate of purpose anxiety we spoke about earlier. So the real question is, how are we going to find our purpose? Well, as I said, I’ve got your back. What follows is 3 powerful steps to find your purpose in life, beat purpose anxiety (for now) and start living life with the clarity and drive of a Shaolin monk!

Now, a short disclaimer before we get on with the list (and I will keep it short because I know how much you all love lists) none of these methods will directly tell you your purpose in life. You’re not going to do these exercises then magically be told you should be a doctor. These exercises will help you figure out what values are most important to you, what global or social issues inspire you, and what skills you have or should cultivate to help you contribute best to these issues.

So, without further ado, it’s list time!

Discover who you are and what you want for yourself.

One thing that I found when trying to define my purpose in life is that I had no idea how I wanted my life to look. I was kind of just floating through life taking whatever lifestyle fit around my career and social commitments. I was fitting my life around others. I firmly believe that not having a purposeful vision of how your life should look contributes massively to the feelings of directionlessness that are so prevalent in society, and was distinctly UNempowering.

The Self Authoring program can help you with this. It’s a program created by leading clinical psychologists and utilises several reflective writing exercises to help you identify strengths and weaknesses, as well as define your ideal life clearly. Basically, a one-stop shop for self-actualization!

The Future Authoring exercise helps you define your best life in a clear and detailed way, rather than the jumbled mess of vague goals like “travel more” and “work less” that we all start with when taking control of our lives.

As helpful as this is, the other exercises is where this program really shines. Through the Past Authoring exercise, you can identify the key positive and negative events in your life and analyze how they have contributed to your current situation. The Present Authoring exercise helps you to analyze your current personality and build on the positives whilst improving the negatives.

All of this is invaluable in finding your purpose because it can provide a deeper understanding of yourself. Without this understanding, you will be hard pushed to find your purpose. If you don’t know your own strengths and weaknesses, how can you know what you have to offer the world? If you don’t have control over your own life, how can you improve someone else? If you don’t have the strength to face your own demons, how can you help give someone else the strength to face theirs.

Or, as Jordan B. Peterson, the creator of the Self Authoring Suite, would say: “if you can’t bring peace to your own household, how dare you try and rule a city?”

You can access the Self Authoring Suite, as well as read about the science-backed benefits of this program, here. Note, I am not affiliated in any way with the self authoring suite. This is simply a tool I have used and gained immense benefit from, so I want to share it with you.

Identify what matters to you.

So, we now have a good idea of who we are and what we can offer the world. But, how do we know where to provide those positive skills of ours. This is what identifying what matters to you is all about.

It could be a cause like climate change or a service you think is sorely needed in the world but isn’t being offered. Hell, it could be something as simple and selfish as wanting to see as much of the world as possible. The point is that no matter what it is, you need to find it first. And you’re not going to do that by living the same routine you are now, or else you likely would already have a purpose and have no need for this article.

At this point, we will need to shake up our routine a little bit and expose ourselves to new ideas and situations. For finding our purpose there are three great ways to do this:

1. Read more. Read everything. Go into a bookstore or a library, browse through the titles, pick up anything and everything that speaks to you, then read the hell out of it. Learn about what’s happening in the world, see if anything lights that fire in you, and then read more on that subject. In this way, you are going to find the issues that you are passionate about. You are going to expose yourself to all the goings-on in the world. You will expose yourself to more people and their stories than you could ever feasibly meet, and you are going to learn about their purpose. You are going to be inspired, and you are going to be that much more equipped to find your own purpose.

But don’t just take my word for it. You can read about the links between reading and finding purpose in life here and here.

1. Volunteer. Much like reading, volunteering will expose you to social issues you may not have previously thought about. You will meet new people and learn about their struggles. It can also build confidence through providing a sense of accomplishment, teaches you skills that may apply to your purpose in the future, and is just an all-around great thing to do. Read about all this and more from a far more reputable source here.

Build a community.

Ever heard the expression, “tell me who you walk with, and I will tell you who you are”. The truth of this proverb cannot be understated, and it has been shown not only does our community help us create a more successful and purposeful life but that, unfortunately, surrounding ourselves with negativity is even more contagious (see studies here, and here).

It follows then that building a community of people engaged and passionate about their purpose will help uplift you into finding your purpose and that being surrounded by those who are living rudderless and directionless lives will hold you back from finding your purpose.

Now, I am not advocating that you immediately from your friends and go it alone. Not at all, we are social animals, and this may do more harm than good. But I am advocating finding new people, people who share your passions and want to live their life in a more purposeful way. Find them at the volunteering you have been doing (and you have been doing it, right?). Join local groups of entrepreneurs or activists or whatever the hell lights your fire. These people are out there, and you can find them. Then slowly start spending more and more time with them. Increase your exposure to driven people, and increase your own drive and motivation as a result.

Finding your purpose is not easy. It is a long process that involves a lot of self-reflection, a lot of time commitment, and a lot of change. It is also a process fraught with the dangers of purpose anxiety.

But I promise if you follow the steps in this article, if you apply yourself to the endeavour of finding your purpose, and if you truly prioritize this in your life, you will transform in ways you never imagined. You will find that the doors to a happier, healthier, more fulfilling life swing open before you. You will be walking the path to being the person you were always meant to be.

You can do it. All it takes is a little elbow grease and a little self-belief.